The Guadalajara Authentic Mexican Buffet: A Poem-like Tribute

I've written about the fabulous tacos at the Guadalajara Authentic Mexican Buffet before, but I finally returned for their buffet spread a couple weeks ago. The buffet at Guadalajara is impressive to say the least, both in quantity and (for the most part) quality. It also includes tacos to order. It was such a great experience, in fact, that I was moved to verse. As a preface to my buffet-inspired lines, over the past month I have been reading Shel Silverstien's "Where the Sidewalk Ends" alternating with "A Light in the Attic"-- every single night (to my kids). Oh, and this incredible book about Mexican food that I can't recommend enough.

The result of my Mexican buffet binge and my immersion in rhyming children's literature-- for better or worse-- is this. If you regularly read actual poetry, or even just have a general appreciation of the art, you may be genuinely offended if you choose to continuing reading. Or enjoy, like I have, with the understanding that once you reach the bottom, there is nowhere to go but up.

The Guadalajara Authentic Mexican Buffet is Just Great

The Guadalajara Authentic Mexican Buffet is just great

For a family of four, six, seven, or eight.

Or 11 or 12, bring your grandma and cousin,

Cause this is a spread that all ages be lovin'.

Stay for a while and come with a clean palette,

Avoid fillers like rice, beans, or (worst) iceberg salad.

Stay cool and go slow - don't do anything drastic,

And best to wear pants with a little elastic.

There are chicken legs in a dark mole sauce;

calabaza and corn stewing in a rich broth.

Grilled steak and shrimp with sweet peppers and spice

and more typical plates that are sure to entice.

There's stewed chicharron in a hot red salsa,

that's a little bit salty but still freakin' awesome.

Pozole, meundo, and even green chile,

Indeed the quantity borders on silly.

When my first plate was full I was doing my best

To balance it all and not make a mess,

But I couldn't resist one more chile relleno

fearing that later I would be way too lleno.

But I didn't stop there, I went back for seconds,

Those enchiladas I missed were starting to beckon.

As were the grilled veggies and the tilapia,

You just keep eating and ain't no one stoppin' ya'.

If you are still hungry but want something novel

There's colita de pavo you could eat by the shovel.

In a brown chile sauce that is slightly murky,

that's right you can chew on the tail of a turkey.

There are some items you'd do best to not stomach

like the hot dogs or 2-day old chicken nuggets.

The droopy french fries and the crusty "espagueti"

were other items for which no stomach is ready.

The ambiance is not unlike a school cafeteria,

and though there's no beer, there is birria,

and tacos to order grilled up fresh

with a red salsa that will heat up your breath.

And while it's true that there is no booze,

there is enough food so that you'll snooze

quite well that night and into the morn'

(You might even feel hungover, bloated and worn.)

But don't let that next day stop you now,

Just think of the joy you'll bring your stomach and how

You'll never forget all the great things you devoured,

Cause you'll be burping them up for several hours.

After my third plate I felt a little fatigued,

out of breath and weak in the knees.

But eating this buffet is not for the meek

So come hungry and you'll stay full for a week.

Buffets get a bad rap in the food world these days

But this Mexican diner's no Old Country Buffet.

It's good- no it's great- but I'm repeating myself

Just get there and try it all out for yourself.